The Treat & Retreat Game: Helping Your Dog Meet New People with Confidence

Written By Olivia Lam

Inviting someone new into your home can be stressful for a shy or wary dog. But instead of coaxing them forward, what if you gave them the choice to create space, take a breath, and return when they’re ready? That’s the magic behind the Treat & Retreat game, developed by Suzanne Clothier. It's gentle, dog-centric, and builds trust through freedom - not pressure. Here’s how to make it work when introducing your dog to new people:

Step-by-Step: Treat & Retreat for Meeting New People

1. Prepare the visitor (or "guest")

  • Equip them with bite-sized, very high-value treats (think hot dogs, shredded chicken, cheese, or something high value for your dog).

  • Ask your guest to avoid direct eye contact when entering, as prolonged staring can feel threatening to dogs.

2. Let your dog choose safety first

  • As the guest arrives, ask them to toss treats past your dog, not toward them. This encourages your dog to retreat in order to receive the treat.

3. Raise the challenge—at your dog’s pace

  • Once your dog is more relaxed (showing soft body language and no vocal stress), your guest can gently raise criteria: toss a treat between them self and the dog - just enough to encourage a forward step - then immediately toss another treat past the dog to reward retreat again.

4. Respect your dog’s comfort zone

  • If your dog appears uncomfortable, skip the closer tosses. Stick with treat-behind-the-dog until they’re visibly more at ease.

  • Never have your guest hold treats in their hand and call the dog over. This can actually amplify stress or frustration.

  • If your dog tends to rush at visitors, consider having them behind a baby gate or on leash for safety and freedom of movement.

5. Offer a safe retreat space when needed

  • Not every dog is ready to meet visitors right away, and that’s perfectly fine. Prepare a calm, cozy area where they can feel safe (a quiet room, a crate, or a comfy corner).

  • Before guests arrive, guide your dog to that space with positive energy. Stock it with high-value treats and engaging toys.

  • You can even play soft, soothing music (classical, gentle soft rock, or reggae) to enrich the relaxing atmosphere.

Why This Works

  • Empowerment through choice: Your dog learns that moving away is not only allowed, it’s rewarded.

  • Trust over pressure: By letting your dog regulate the distance, they build confidence without feeling trapped.

  • Natural engagement: When curiosity takes over, your dog approaches on their own terms, not because they’re pushed.

Extra Tips

  • Keep sessions short and sweet, stop while your dog is still interested and successful.

  • Celebrate every retreat and relaxed reaction with soft praise or a calm “Yes.”

  • Repetition is magic: the more you repeat this game, the more comfortable your dog becomes with new people, even in different settings.

  • Tailor the environment: consider placing treats in different locations, or have the guest shift their position slightly to test comfort zones gently (once your dog is ready for it).

Final Thoughts

The Treat & Retreat game honours your dog’s emotional state and gives them the power to manage their social space. Every retreat is a success, every choice matters, and over time, that gentle trust builds bonds that last. You’re teaching your dog: “I’ve got your back. You decide when you’re ready.”

Olivia Lam